Mother's Day is it only for women?
Yesterday I celebrated my second Mother's Day. And, I reflected on the language of the word Mother. Are mothers only woman? And, are they only woman related to the child or children? I went to a buy a card for the wonderful woman who watches my daughter while I am at R.U. teaching and it wasn't easy to find a card. I finally found a card that said something about being a caregiver. This woman loves my child and "mothers" my daughter while I am not there. It made me think of all those men that stay home and "mother" the child and same sex couples and grandparents that have taken over the role of raising or loving a child or children during the day. Where are their cards? We have seen terms to describe partners in relationships over the years grow and change, such as "significant other" or "relational partner" or instead of marriage, terms such as "committted relationship" or "monogamous relationship". Is there another word that we can use to describe all the wonderful people whether men or women, whether biologically related or not, that love and help raise children? I reflected on how my gender identity ties in to my role of a mother. Our family does adhere to the culturally based definitions of a mother being a woman and a father being a male. Our roles are tied to the masculine and feminine sterotypcial qualities of a mother and father which maybe perpetuates the cultural definition of each of these roles? I know that when I go outside the stereotypcial definition of what it means to be a "good mom", I feel as though I have failed as a mom or feel guilty that I have let my daughter down. If I had another term like parental caretaker would I have different expecations and a different self view of how well I was raising my daughter? Would she grow up and develop a self view that says she is more than just her feminine characteristics? I will ponder on this idea for awhile. What are your thoughts? What life experience have you seen or experienced this week that illustrates a gender issue in your life?
